A “rantifesto” about MISTAKES

 

Tara Sage SteevesMaybe it’s got something to do with me being 40 years young. Or maybe it’s the culmination of decades of metaphysical searching and psychological study. I’m pretty confident the thousands of people I’ve coached and/or “workshopped” over my 11+ years in biz has at least got something to do with it. Maybe it’s all the listening and personal stories that I’ve heard. It’s also likely thanks to the many cross-cultural experiences I’ve had and the traveling I’ve done…

Whatever the case, I AM SO *OVER* THE WHOLE PARADIGM OF CONCEPTUALIZING THINGS IN TERMS OF MISTAKES. (Except maybe if you break it down to “mis-take”. As in, simply take another take…)

But otherwise, “mistake” and “wrong” are basically synonymous, and I’m done with that. I truly don’t see choices made – especially after the fact – as either right or wrong anymore. I’m over attempts at fitting the things I’ve done, and the changes I’ve made, into rigid little judgement-filled, “should” and “shouldn’t” categories of regret.

Are YOU?

And, oh, I’ve done *plenty* of “oops” stuff in my life. (How do you think I got so wise? Smile!)

Trust me, I have taken many-a-turn down streets that I backed the heck out of soon after (the one-way kind), and others that were maze-like detours that took some serious navigation to find my way.

But nonetheless, I have grown to love my mis-takes. I mean it.

And I’ve learned that shame need not be a badge you wear as proof that you learned a lesson. Seriously.

If anything, wear a great big bright and colorful badge of self-forgiveness, self-love, personal freedom, and a sense of humor. That is, in my opinion, the best possible outcome of any “mis-take”.

Wrong turn? Big whoopin’ deal. Really. I mean, so what? Now you know. Choices made were made from the level of understanding you had at the time. And when you know better you do better. So, once you know => time to hire a stellar life coach and head in a new direction. [shameless plug I’m not sorry for Smile!]

And, be honest: More likely than not, it probably wasn’t ALL “wrong”, so don’t throw it all out the window unless that’s truly where it belongs. More likely, is that you now have a whole lot more detail and nuanced clarity about what’s a fit for you from here. This is great news. Now go make it happen.

And while you’re at it, don’t hold toooo TIGHT to the new vision, because unnerving as it is, this’ll likely evolve and change too. As long as you’re alive you’re going to continue to grow and change and it only makes sense that your vision will change with you. Once you get wherever “there” is, there will always be another “there” to get to. There’s no guarantee that what fits ‘just right’ NOW won’t be something you’ll outgrow later. (Sorry/You’re welcome. Smile!)

And if that happens, it’s just time for (yet another) do-over. I’ve personally coached people ages 21-74. It is NEVER too late to say this is ‘not it’.

From my perspective, this is what being alive is all about. Our world is the laboratory and you and I are the (sometimes mad) scientists. The more lightness and kindness you bring to your experiment called LIFE and its inevitable moment-by-moment unfoldings, the better. Well, that is, assuming you want joyful results.

Please understand: I am not in any way minimizing how difficult the process of moving through such awareness can be, and what’s really involved on the twisty-turny road to playful-living, self-love and self-forgiveness. Having been there, helps me coach others through it. No text book I know of teaches this. I know first-hand how “recalculations” can have some dramatic practical-level and relational-level impact (a.k.a. be extremely messy).

BUT – it’s still all just a big experiment! There’s no eventual “arrival” in the seat of it’s-all-done-now perfection. Until maybe when you’re dead. But you are alive – and so am I – and that means we are all meaning-making, change-making, improvisational manifesters and creators-of-our-own-experience. And not-a-one of us is 100% certain about what the heck we’re doing, or what exactly will result from it.

It’s about being fully alive in the BECOMING.

It’s about living full out.

It’s about going for your dreams, no matter what.

It’s about being a work in progress every minute of every day.

It’s about putting fear in it’s place (in the trunk, not at the steering wheel).

And ultimately it’s about you being YOU because, frankly, you are the world’s leading expert on your heart’s deepest, and evolving, desires.

Be your best and brightest version of you, as often as possible. Cliche as it may be, dance like noone’s watching – and dance like everyone’s watching, because really: who cares. I believe it’s also about leaving a legacy of as much JOY and good juju as you can. If for no grand mission-oriented reason, do it because it’s nice to be remembered well.

Rant over. Thank you. Feel free to take the microphone from here. Smile!

Pregnant With A Dream: Meeting Lisa Nichols

Are YOU Pregnant With a Dream?  Now, I don’t mean a baby – but rather a dream that you KNOW you are meant to bring to life, to birth something that *if you don’t* you’ll always wonder what could have been…

In the words of Marianne Williamson “Each of us is pregnant with a better version of ourselves.”

So true.  I know first-hand what it feels like to have dreams that scare the bejesus out of me, and to simultaneously know that I *MUST* bring them to life, despite my sometimes overwhelming fear. That’s why I wrote the book, Are You Pregnant With a Dream?

As life coach and founder of Create Your Life!, I know what it takes to go from Fear to Freedom, and I have coached hundreds, soon to be thousands, on the magic and momentum that takes hold when my 9-step Dream Acceleration(TM) Process gets activated.

In September 2013, after watching a YouTube video of Ms. Lisa Nichols speaking (she was in the movie The Secret, a Chicken Soup for the Soul author, founder of Motivating the Masses, and so much more…) a dream was activated in me: I wanted to meet her.  Not in a celebrity-crazed-kind-of-way.  But in a … this-woman-is-powerful-and-the-real-deal-and-I-feel-absolutely-compelled-to-do-whatever-I need-to-to-meet-and-talk-to-her kind of way.  And, proof to the power of a dream-in-action, just two short months later, it happened! 

Here are some “selfies” that Lisa Nichols and I took after a little heart-to-heart.

(Read more on what’s extra-special about THIS photo below.)

And here’s one of her working her magic on stage:

A quick aside about that second photo of us standing in front of the Lisa Nichols poster:

I noticed that, in the poster, she has braces on her teeth – and I asked her about it.  Now, really, do you think she could have had that photoshopped out before blowing it up into a great big stand-on-it’s-own poster?  Shoot. Let’s be honest … I would’ve!

Of course she could have!  BUT – she had braces when the photo was taken, so that’s what’s in the picture.  How’s THAT for a little window into how *REAL* this woman is.  🙂

It was a true honor and a privilege to not only meet her, but even more … after our off-stage connection, there was a moment (during the height of her guiding the room through a mind-blowing belief transformation process), that I SAW her.  And – she saw me see her.

People were shouting and crying and doing all kinds of wild, free and full self-expression … an experience that left every person in that room forever changed …

She did what only the best speakers do: she got herself out of the way.  And in that moment, I SAW HER, with tears in her eyes, as the room was divided into our small groups doing the exercise she had given us to do.  She and I locked eyes.  It’s was a pregnant pause.  Beautiful beyond words.  One that I will never forget it.

Thank you, Lisa Nichols. Thank you Universe of Possibility.  It’s good to be alive.  It’s not always easy – but it’s so so good…  We are absolutely in this together.

So, again, may I ask … Are YOU Pregnant With a Dream?

May your dreams always inspire more than they intimidate.

Love and blessings,

Tara

What’s YOUR Intention?

I’m so moved, and want to share something a client of mine posted today on Facebook:

“I met a woman this week who started each call we had with a warm welcome & then proceeded to tell me what her INTENT was for the call…have to say, it caught me off guard but I was extremely impressed! I believe, when you come in to contact with people & they raise the bar, my goal is to rise as well!

As I was on my way to work today I was talking with my husband & he says so baby how’s your morning and I replied “horrible horrible horrible!!” And he asked why, my reply…cuz I don’t wanna go to work! As we ended the call I heard the words of Tara Sage Steeves asking “So Tikisha, what is your intent?” I have to say, it called me to attention! Regardless of what I DONT want to do, the fact remained that I had to come to work. If I set my intent on my day being horrible x3, guess what kinda day I’m gonna have?! YUP horrible x3!

So I re-focused & told myself that MY INTENT for this day is to be nothing less than my best! Realizing that greatness doesn’t happen when you see your name in lights, it happens when you clearly define your INTENT TO BE GREAT WITH NO LIGHTS!”

SO POW-ER-FUL!!  And as an added note, I have no doubt, sooner than she thinks, her name *will* be in lights.

What’s YOUR Intention?  Post below.

May your dreams always inspire more than they intimidate,

Tara  🙂

 

 

Meet a Create Your Life! Dreamer (You are NOT the only one.)

Meet JaninaJanina

“Have you had such amazing opportunities in your life that seemed like they were delivered to the wrong person or at the wrong time?

You think: “This couldn’t be for me! This is too much! It sounds great but add one more thing to my plate?”.

But something inside you feels inspired to go with it and to go FOR it!  And when you look back, you know that was a GIFT and it was such a pivotal event that changed so much?

Two years ago, when I was presented with and considered the 8-week Dream Acceleration™ Program those were the questions I was asking myself!!!  But when the nudge and inner feelings said “go for it”, I committed to devote 2 months to learn more and be open to whatever that meant for me at the time.

For 8 weeks, I experienced emotions that went all over the place – scared to learn something new about myself, excited to grow and expand, grateful for meeting new people and forming relationships who I knew were key in supporting me in the changes, learnings and shifting that I was experiencing during that time.  Now I feel NO REGRETS!  Those 8 weeks of material gave me so much to think about in my life – I felt like I had more CHOICES and discovered I had PERMISSION to decide what was right and good for me and SEE what was really possible!

When an opportunity comes along like this – AND at a significant price reduction – how can you not at least see what it is about and consider how it might create shifts in your life? If you have thoughts, concerns or questions, please feel free to message me.”

~  Janina Goldberg

Dreaming is Fun

nycaptA few weeks ago, after declaring that I want to spend more time in – and possibly move to – NYC, I signed up to receive email updates about NYC rental listings through Elliman Properties.  I went on their website and created my “profile” with my price ranges, etc. so I could receive email notifications of the shoe boxes available for me to choose from.  :-/

Since then, I’ve been receiving daily emails for, not rentals – but properties for sale, into the range of $27 Million. Funny, huh?

I’ve written to them twice about this and received a reply that they fixed it for me.  But they didn’t.  I continue to receive sale listings into the millions, which I’ve decided is fine with me for now because I’m actually really enjoying it.  (Could the Universe be telling me something?)

Anyway, of all I’ve seen, there’s one listing (that happens to be under $1M – cheap!) that makes my dreamin’ self swoon. Wanna see it?

http://www.elliman.com/listing-photos?l=f962c098084d9617355723c9a9c54ecf9b2d49fcd7535b2a-607df8f56614497fe99f8e2ec8c0f0037a9e36cf 

What are YOU dreaming about these days? Post a comment below and join me in dreaming out loud, activating the power and possibility that comes with sharing dreams with others.

Dreaming is fun,

Tara

Do you realize your dream risks?

Nyc dancers

Joy to You!

As Dream Realization Coach and “Dream Queen,” I want to share a dream of my own – AND a special Dream Acceleration™ Exercise to support YOUR dream realization process with a make-it-real Dream Risk Assessment.

The photo on the right is of a recent dance “field trip” to NYC with some of my Providence Salsa Family.

We had a BLAST – after a 3-hour lesson in the afternoon with world-class teachers, we found our way to a Salsa Social at night that was AWESOME. Talk about energy! Whew! By the end of the night, my feet where aching, I was drenched in sweat, and my heart was SO happy.

Let the record show: I love ‘lil Rhody.

And every few months, I find an excuse to go to NYC to get my Big Apple fix, which is something that can continue … BUT lately, I’m finding that the more I go, the less I want to leave!

I’ve done the Risk Assessment Exercise (see below for details) about my budding dream to live in NYC, and I’ll be honest, my list in column #1 is L-O-N-G!  But since I think I’ll always wonder if I don’t (column #2) … I’m starting to take steps to plant seeds and find out more about what would need to happen to make the move. In case there was any doubt … know that we – you and I – are absolutely in this ongoing dream realization process together.

Let’s support one another.  Please leave a comment below about your own dreams-in-the-works and your Risk Assessment results, ok?

A Dream Acceleration Exercise for You:

In order to discover what’s under the bed or hiding in the unrealized dreams closet, this exercise will bring awareness to, and shine a light on, what might have you stuck.  This is a chance to set aside those reasonable reasons long enough to honor your DEEPER wisdom, connect to your bravery, and gain clarity about why you are where you are.

Ready? Set? Go!

Grab a blank piece of paper and fold it in half vertically or draw a simple table with two columns.

Label column 1: “Risks In Realizing my Dream of (fill in the blank).”

Then jot down the RISKS and costs that come to your mind about pursuing and realizing your dream.  Ask yourself these questions: What’s at risk if I am living my dream?  What do I need to consider in taking this leap of faith?  If you’re like most, it’s probably pretty easy for you to come up with risks considering your dream realization journey.

And most people stop right there. What’s too often NOT considered is identifying the costs of NOT pursuing your dream. What’s at risk if you DON’T go for it …  if you DON’T move forward into action?

Column 2: “Risks of NOT Pursuing My Dream of (fill in the blank).” 
Jot down the first things that come up for you around these questions:
  • What’s at risk if I don’t take action and move forward on my dream?
  • What’s the risk of always wondering?
  • What might the impact be on your happiness – even on your health?
  • How confident and proud of yourself will you be if you don’t explore the possibility?
  • And, lastly, how will it feel to always wonder about what could have been?

Only you know this answer for you, but as someone who has coached folks from age 18 to 78, I know keeping your deepest desires and dreams stored away, in a neat and tidy little box, to be a HUGE RISK!

Allow this exercise to support you.  More often than not, when there’s an honest assessment of not only the risks of going-for-it, but also the risks of staying exactly where you ARE … the costs of not finding out often far outweigh the potential costs and risks of going for it.

However big, small, silly or vague you may think your dream is, I believe that like the little sprouting acorn, your dreams are the voice of your soul, ready to burst through any obstacles and grow and live in the world.  And, there’s simply no way around the fact that in order to follow your dreams, you’ll absolutely need to leave your safe have and align yourself with support from those who believe in you and your dreams.

Want more support?  Click here.

May your dreams always inspire more than they intimidate,

Tara

Soggy Sandwiches & Pride Precautions on the Road to Dream Realization

I laughed out loud this week as I shared with a friend about my life in 2004 … I had just been laid off from my j-o-b and, embracing the opportunity to live my dream of being an entrepreneur, I “launched” my coaching company (a.k.a.: sent an anticlimactic email newsletter to friends and family).

I had slightly more than ZERO dollars in the bank and, weekly, I walked to a nearby deli, where for $6, they sold MASSIVE sandwiches (an entire loaf of bread stuffed with the deli selections of your choosing).  I’d order one, often paying with loose change, take it home, and cut it into 6 pieces: lunch, dinner, lunch, dinner, lunch, dinner… for the next three days!  Day 3 was always a bummer because by then it was super soggy. I ate it anyway because it’s what I had.

Ready to bust out?I didn’t have a Plan B. I didn’t have money … and I ALSO didn’t have anyone to bail me out if I failed. 

But what I DID have was:

  1. Fierce determination.
  2. A wobbly but committed belief in my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants self.
  3. A willingness to do whatever it took to Be who I was Becoming … to fulfill the vision I saw of my own potential.

Do you see yourself in this?

Here’s another 2004 story that makes me laugh (now, not then) … 

Three nights a week, I got in my old beater car, said a prayer and turned the key. When it started, I said another one: “Thank God!”

With still-warm business cards in the pocket of my Dress Barn suit, I would find my way to that evening’s local business networking event. I was totally intimidated and frightfully aware that I really had no business being there (in more ways than one) – but I went anyway.  I intentionally parked my please-don’t-let-anyone-see-what-I’m-driving car at least 6 blocks away – a pride precaution.

I went determined to grow my mailing list.  I was all too aware that the “newsletter” I wrote each week was only being read ignored by friends and family.  So, at these networking events I always asked anyone who gave me their business card if I could have their permission to add them to my newsletter list.  For whatever reason, almost everyone agreed.  Little successes are important and I remember celebrating in my (“please start”) car after each event as I counted how many business cards I had collected.  I couldn’t wait to go home and add them to my growing-bit-by-bit mailing list.

This, a few pro bono clients, and an absolute unwillingness to quit, is how Create Your Life! began.

Of course a lot has happened between now and then … but flashing forward to now, these eight or so years later I no longer eat soggy sandwiches. I drive a car that I love (seen below).  And Create Your Life! serves clients around the world through a community that grows every day.

MINISO MUCH TRANSFORMATION has happened in my life and in my business since then that I barely recognize “circa 2004 Tara”!

And this is good news for YOU because … I’m on a mission to share everything I’ve learned about transformation – what works, what doesn’t, and how to get on your very own fast-track to who YOU are becoming.

Through my self-study, my graduate-level studies, and my trial-and-error lessons learned, I have created the comprehensive Dream Acceleration™ Program & Process to support YOU in accelerating your own busting out of that confining old shell, stepping up and out in a bigger, bolder way, and significantly speeding up your dream realization successes by connecting to and BEING your Future You … the self-actualized Self that YOU are in the process of becoming.

Eager to learn more about how to accelerate YOUR journey? I’d love to chat with you — my GIFT.  Just send me a quick email with “Dream Discovery session” in the header along with times that work best and we’ll get a date on the calendar to connect. That said, my calendar is tight, so the sooner you respond, the sooner we can chat!

May your dreams always inspire more than they intimidate,